Oh, the goodness one can get in choir.

Musica animam tangens
Maria vitae effundens
Flumina cor liberantia omnes amore amantia
Musica sonans resonans
Implens meam essentiam
Meam inundat animam
Velut fluctibus montem submersum
Ut tangam Deum.

And for those of you who have not recently brushed up on your Latin skills, here is a translation:

Music touching;
Exhaling its breathless oceans of life --
Currents that free hearts, giving love to
All that open the sounds that fill
The mountain of my existence
And overflow my soul
to touch God.

--poem by Ryan Newstrom, Latin adaptation by Byron Stayskal

If only you could hear the music that Joshua Shank wrote to this. It's beyond my words.

♥

I think I'm just bored with this whole blogger one. Generally everyone else's is intelligent, thought-provoking, has a point, or all of the above. I'm too lazy to come up with anything like that for the most part. But in case that ever happens... this will be waiting. Until then, adieu. Maybe for a while.

So I've been at college for... 16 days. It's pretty much one of the greatest things ever. I am ready to visit home, though. I'll probably continue to be terrible at updating this, so that's not anything new you'd have to get used to (if anyone even reads this anymore).

But anyway. Time for a nap.

Nine days till I move to college! I don't think a zillion exclamation points would show my excitement.

Change pretty much sucks.

My family is moving to Texas. Daddy starts working there in a week.

I have to pack not only my college stuff, but all my other stuff as well, within two weeks.

I'm having second thoughts about York. Maybe not so much about York as about OC. Like: Did I really think enough about this decision? Did I really think about OC enough? Because over the past week I've been thinking about OC a lot. And I love it there, too. Should I ever transfer there? If I do, do I need to wait a semester or a year or two years or never? I really have no idea what's going on in my head. Maybe just the jitters? Except I'm not nervous about going away to college anywhere, so that's probably not it.

I don't know. So much is going on, and that's why I haven't written here in a while.

I don't like change. And I don't like not knowing what to do. And I definitely don't like feeling so confused.

I love Miami.

New things can be scary, too...

My dad is searching for a new job. And it's not like, "Oh, we'll think about it if the perfect opportunity comes up." It's like "I have to get a new job." I understand that; we talked for a long time about everything the other night, and he isn't doing what he wants to do at all. Lately, he is spending most of his nights online, e-mailing his resume to friends and looking online for what he wants. Mom and I talked about how now the time seems right; before, it didn't ever seem like God really wanted us to move because of commitments. But now, almost all those commitments are done (I'm done at CP, my mom is working on not being involved with children's ministry at church anymore, my great-aunt will most likely be in a nursing home soon, my grandma is thinking about going to a senior place not like assisted living but a community or whatever, stuff like that). They are more serious about this now than I have ever seen them before.

All that isn't scary. The part that is: moving away. Far away from here.

One opportunity that he really liked and is hoping (realistically) for is in Plano, Texas. One not so far away is in Kansas City, and he could work at home most of the time for that one. But he really wants a "change in venue," as he put it. He's looking in Oklahoma City, too. That would be so great for mom, since it would be so close to all her family. (I would get even more crap for going to York and not OC if we lived there, haha.) But all that means is that when I have breaks, I wouldn't be able to go see all my friends because my family won't be where my friends are.

Okay, yeah, Kansas is on the way to Texas and Oklahoma from Nebraska, but still. I would barely get to see anyone before I would need to leave to go visit my family. I know, I know, I'm being kinda selfish about it. But you know you would be, too.

Nothing is too certain right now. Dad may very well just get that job in Kansas City. But my parents are both hoping so so much for somewhere else (more specifically the Plano job). It'd be cool to live there, but I would be so far away. I really don't know what I'd do. All this is pretty exhausting. I'm confused and torn between being selfish and praying for daddy to get the perfect job for him (finally). I don't know. Too many people I actually know read my xanga, but I just had to get all this out somewhere.

Sigh.